Doing the research required of a search angel takes tremendous patience, diligence in pursuing various avenues that may lead to answers for the person you’re assisting, and, most of all, a singular focus on finding someone’s family members based on the information you’re given—and a quest to uncover data, mysteries, and information long buried in the past and often shielded from public access via outdated laws and restricted access to information that should rightfully be given to the families seeking information. Often, you are not going to know, personally, the people you are assisting. Should that stop you, or make you any less motivated to find the answers sought by those who you’ve agreed to help? No. If anything, it might make you even more motivated. It’s a mystery to solve, a puzzle to piece together with a combination of existing known facts and missing information. As a search angel, the last thing you want to do is let someone down by not doing everything in your power to unearth the secrets, unlock the access, open the door, and bring long-awaited closure to the lives of those you serve.

And as you work to get the answers that people seek, you just might change a life or two in the process.

Author Carrie Craft explains: “An adoption search angel volunteers his time and talents to help families who have been touched by adoption. He hunts for answers and information for birth mothers and adoptees who want to reach out to their birth parents. Adoption search angels might help a birth mom locate a high school yearbook so she can see the child she placed for adoption for the first time. Search angels explore registries to help adoptees find relatives who are open to contact and for answers about their roots. They’re people who want to give a little peace to families with questions.” Here’s her full article if you’re interested in reading it.

What Search Angels Do and Don’t Do

Typically, search angels charge no upfront fee for their services. (If they do, clients should definitely be suspicious.) In time (usually after the research has concluded), you as a search angel may ask clients to reimburse you for various fees incurred during the search process. This is standard and should come as no surprise to your clients.

As a search angel, you cannot and should not search for children who are under age 18. Children for whom you are searching must be legal adults—not minors. This is the law, so, be sure to abide by it.

You can provide your clients with the contact information that you’ve found, but as far as reaching out to that person’s birth parents or birth children, that is up to the client themselves. This is a strict rule in the search angel community! Search angels do not initiate contact on behalf of clients. One of the most important qualities of a stellar search angel is his or her desire to respect and preserve the client’s privacy. 

Keep in mind that search angels don’t always find the answers. That can be frustrating for both parties. Search angels and clients alike absolutely need to be prepared for that unfortunate reality.

Search angels do not have to be members of the adoption triad. Even if adoption has not directly touched your life, you can still serve as a search angel for the sheer experience of helping someone, doing some good in a volunteer role, and unlocking the mysteries of the past.

Search angels need to be familiar with the local geographic area of the client(s) they are serving. This important fact cannot be overstated. So, make sure that it’s a good match—not just in terms of personality, level of comfort, and passion, but also in terms of geographical familiarity. 

Volunteers tend to be individuals who work from home to help a search angel organization, typically for at least a few hours each week. Volunteers should be problem-solvers and go-getters who aren’t willing to give up easily at the first sign of a roadblock or an impasse.

Becoming a Search Angel

So, if this appeals to you, how do you get started?

It’s pretty simple: Reach out to various search angel organizations. Yes—there are companies dedicated specifically to the science and art of search angelhood! Here are a few organizations that you can reach out to in order to take the first step in becoming a search angel. Remember: These are just a sampling of the organizations that are out there, and our listing them here does not necessarily constitute an endorsement of services.

Search Angels

https://www.searchangels.org/

To sign up to become a search angel with this nonprofit organization, go to the site’s “Our Volunteers” section. Scroll all the way to the bottom of the Our Volunteers web page for the Volunteer Form. Fill it out, and they’ll get back to you regarding next steps.

WikiTree’s Adoption Angels Project

https://www.wikitree.com/wiki/Project:Adoption_Angels

This free site brings together search angels, adoptees, birth families, and genealogical researchers. See the section of this website titled “Becoming an Adoption Angel.” One prerequisite to volunteering is signing WikiTree’s Honor Code. The organization’s Mission Statement very clearly explains what adoption angels will and will not do.

Other Resources

You can also search Facebook, Yahoo Groups, and Google Groups for dedicated search angel groups. These groups are too numerous to mention here, and many are geographically specific (e.g., Adoption Search Angels of St. Louis, on Facebook), so it’s best for you to do some web searching to find the right group as a volunteer genealogist.

For more information on search angels, read Ashley Foster’s article on Adoption.org, titled “What Is a Search Angel?”

For some guidelines and resources on how to get started in finding your birth parents or adopted child, visit AdoptionInformation.com.

Your first step in your search and reunion journey is to register in Adoption.com’s Reunion Registry.

The post How to Be a Search Angel for Adoptees and Birth Mothers appeared first on Adoption Search | Records, Birth Parents, Siblings, Registry.

Some professionals work for a fee and some work by the hour. Some investigators charge a fee upfront, while some only charge if family is located. My suggestion is to hire someone who charges a flat rate fee. Professionals who charge per hour may end up charging more in the long term.  

Ask around. Ask friends or family for recommendations. Online reviews may be biased because companies offer incentives to clients who give them a good review online. If you don’t know of anyone who has used a professional expert to locate family, use online forums on adoption websites or go to an adoption support group in your area.

Know the laws in your state. Although an attorney is not an adoption reunion expert, an attorney will know adoption case file laws and may know of a good professional. A person may claim to legally have access to closed adoption files but actually be scamming innocent people. 

Go to an adoption support group. Many people have high expectations for family members once they find them. Your birth parents or adopted child may have no interest in locating biological family members or may not have the emotional capability of dealing with the information. He or she may have different expectations of what he or she wants out of this newly formed relationship. Adoption support groups allow you to speak with others who have reunited with biological family members. They can give you a better idea of what to expect.

See a counselor. You will have mixed emotions when you find out who your biological family members are and when you attempt to begin a relationship with them. A counselor can help you sort through past pain of being given up for adoption or giving up a child for adoption.

Good luck in finding your family members!

Your first step in your search and reunion journey is to register in Adoption.com’s Reunion Registry.

The post How to Use a Professional Adoption Reunion Expert appeared first on Adoption Search | Records, Birth Parents, Siblings, Registry.

The first step is to find out who your biological parents are. This can be done in several ways. For some, it might be as simple as asking your adoptive parents. For those who are involved in closed or international adoptions, it is a little more difficult. 

Obtaining an original copy of your birth certificate can sometimes give you the information you’re looking for. Another option is to contact the agency that handled your adoption and inform them that you’re interested in finding your biological parents. Often times, government agencies, while generally the surest source of information, are tight-lipped when it comes to closed adoptions. Many times they will not release any information unless both parties have contacted the right agency requesting information. Additionally, they will not inform one party of the other’s interest in reunification.

Social media groups dedicated to reconnecting biological parents to their children are all over. People have also often turned to the mainstream media, private detectives, DNA services, and social media sharing campaigns to help them find their birth parents. 

Once the identity of your biological parents has been determined, then the real search begins. General search engines can be a great place to start. Be as specific as possible in your search including as many details as you have. Name, age, hometown, etc. The more details you search, the more successful your search will be.

Social media searches can also be successful if you use the same tips. Be very specific and use as many details as you can obtain to narrow your search and increase your chances of finding the individuals you’re looking for.

Be patient and thorough in your search. The lead you’re looking for might come in a way you’re not expecting. Finding your biological parents is a life-altering event that will forever affect the way you see yourself and those around you. Good luck in your search!

Want to find your biological parents? Start today by registering on Adoption.com’s Reunion Registry which has been in operation for 20 years and contains hundreds of thousands of records. Click here to get started!

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Typically, a birth mother searching for her child has an easier time than an adopted child searching for his or her birth mother. To begin your search, contact the people who helped facilitate your adoption. These could include a lawyer, an agency, or even a social worker. These people will probably have some records like the adoptive family’s last name, an old address for the family, etc. These people can even help by contacting the family to ask if they are interested in having contact. 

The next step to take in your search process is to research your state’s regulations about adoption records because some states have sealed records to protect the privacy of those involved in the adoption. You can always contact the county clerk to obtain any records outside of the agency that you worked with. After you have obtained as much information as you could, you will want to register with an online reunion registry. Once you have registered, the registry will notify you if your child registers to find you, though he or she may already be registered. In order to be successful with the reunion registry, you will both have to be registered, but it always a good idea to cast as wide a net as possible. As you embark on this search, I want you to remember that not all children can be found, but it is possible. I hope you find success with your search.

Your first step in your search and reunion journey is to register in Adoption.com’s Reunion Registry.

The post How Do I Find a Child I Placed for Adoption? appeared first on Adoption Search | Records, Birth Parents, Siblings, Registry.

You Never Have to Quit

Adoption searches take time. This is simply the reality. It is easy to see reunions featured on social media and feel a bit hopeless about your own search. What you don’t see with these searches is the amount of time that was invested before the reunion. These searches can take years and sometimes never produce results. Those that do produce results often do not happen overnight. It is easy to feel disheartened. You might even feel emotionally and physically exhausted. While time is of the essence, it is perfectly okay to take a break from your search. Life will be happening around you and these searches can become all-consuming. If you need to take a break, give yourself some time to refresh. Let yourself have some time to get a fresh perspective, and resume your search when you are ready.  

When You Feel It’s Time

You may come to a point in your search when you feel that enough is enough. This may be due to having enough information to feel that your search will be futile. It may also be due to feeling that it is time to move on from the search. You may also simply come to a place in life where you just do not feel the need or the drive to search any longer. When you feel it is time to end your search, you end your search. You can always resume it if you feel you want to in the future. Until then, it is more than okay to find closure in the attempt. There is no shame in knowing when to call it.

It’s Your Journey

The most important factor to remember in your decision about whether or not to quit an adoption search is that it is your journey. You may find resistance from friends and/or family one way or another in regards to your decision. You may struggle with opinions or even struggle with your own internal dialogue regarding your decision. At the end of the day, your adoption journey if your own. Whether you are an adoptee or a birth parent, you and you alone should be the one who makes the final decision about your search. You can certainly ask for advice, but feel confident in your decision. Trust your instincts. You know the emotion of the search the best and know what you need at this time. Make the best decision for you, not for everyone else. 

Your first step in your search and reunion journey is to register in Adoption.com’s Reunion Registry. 

The post When Is It Time to Quit an Adoption Search? appeared first on Adoption Search | Records, Birth Parents, Siblings, Registry.

In order to find your birth parents, you need to start asking questions. Your first step is to ask your adoptive parents about them. For me, it was easy. My parents were willing to share with me anything I wanted to know. First, I asked about siblings. My parents told me their names and I contacted them on Facebook. The next step I took was to ask my siblings about our biological mom. They were unsure about her so I proceeded to find out her name. I was able to obtain my biological mom’s name from my original birth certificate. This led me to find her on Facebook. I contacted her. I now have the ability to set up a time that I can meet her if I choose to. As for my birth father, I’m still trying to contact him.

For me, it was easy to find my birth parents because I have supportive parents who told me that I could search for my birth parents if I chose to. For some, it might not be as easy. If you don’t have adoptive parents who are supportive of you, my first piece of advice would be to find out if it was a closed adoption or open adoption. If it was an open adoption, it will be a lot easier for you to get access to your birth records. The next step would be to contact the agency through which your adoption took place. Once you have the information you need, you can search for your parents in state records. You can also register on adoption reunion registries. There are so many options out there, just find the one that works best for you. 

If you’re looking for something to guide you through this search, you may also want to check out this online search and reunion course. It has tons of information from adoption reunion experts.

Before you start your search, please take the time to emotionally prepare for this. Decide if you would be ready to meet your parents today if you found them. If you feel ready, then start the search. It may be the most rewarding experience you have.

The post How Do I Find My Birth Parents? appeared first on Adoption Search | Records, Birth Parents, Siblings, Registry.

Before one uses a search angel, it is important to understand a few things. Search angels will not and should not search for adoptees who are minors (under age 18). Doing so would violate rules of confidentiality and impede on the rights of adoptive parents and their children. Hopefully, adoptive parents have established some form of openness or at least have basic knowledge about the biological parents of children they adopt. Unfortunately, this is not always the case as it depends on the type of adoption and circumstances.

Typically, search angels do not charge for their service. Some expenses may be incurred for travel, though. It is really important for people using adoption search angels to understand that most are not professional investigators. While many are connected and aware of the adoption triad (adoptee, adoptive parents and biological parents), it is not a requirement that one is a part of the triad in order to be a search angel. It is, of course, a benefit to have a search angel who is connected to adoption.

Biological parents, adoptees, and others using the services of a search angel will need to provide as much past and current relevant information to assist in the search. This includes all and any names associated, important dates, and any other known information. Social media sites, archives, birth records, old publications, and public records are among the many resources available that can be utilized to assist in the search.

Good adoption search angels should understand the importance of boundaries. They should never make contact with anyone without permission from the individual who is searching. If permission is given to make contact, the search angel should either be skilled in this process or able to access someone who is. It is vital that no one – the person who is searching or the person being searched for – is pressured in any way to follow through with contact. Again, privacy is important.

Family connections are important. While adoption can be a blessing in one’s life, it can also be wrought with a lot of loss. Using adoption search angels is a way to connect with biological family and help to fill in the gaps of one’s life.

If you’re interested in searching for your birth family but don’t feel you have the right skillset, fear not because you can learn all you need to know from this eCourse offered by Adoption.com. Click here to learn from adoption search and reunion experts.

The post Everything You Need To Know About Search Angels appeared first on Adoption Search | Records, Birth Parents, Siblings, Registry.

One of the biggest challenges can be marrying the emotions of your legal family with your emotions regarding your biological family. Nearly every adoptees is coping with some sort of abandonment issue. Finding people who will commit to being with you can be vital to your stability during the process.

When I sought out my biological family, I had a small report from a social worker to go on, and that was about it. What I knew was that I was the daughter of a teenager and the product of rape. I was adopted into a stable, loving home, and was very much wanted and supported, but the knowledge that I was the product of violence was difficult to process. I suffered through bouts of sadness and anger. Building my self worth was a constant battle. After all, the people who were supposed to love me from the get go, abandoned me, right? Who would want a product of violence?

Now, the practical, mature part of my brain knew that wasn’t true.  Objectively I knew that my biological family made the best decision they could for me, but emotions are rarely rational.

Having understanding support nearby is key to maintaining some measure of expectation management during this challenging time. The fears can be very powerful.  There are a million ‘What ifs’ that speak more loudly than ever. What if they reject you again? What if they are no longer living? Every scenario possible goes through your head.

Having a counselor on your side to sort through these feelings can be a great resource. Family counselors may also help your friends and family learn how to support you most effectively.  There is no guidebook or map to reconnection. Each experience is entirely unique. In my experience, I learned that my mother was a scared teenager who said she was raped, but she actually knew my biological father, and still had his contact information. She answered my initial questions and then we lost touch – what was likely for the best. My biological father, who I never expected to be able to find, has turned out to become a good friend. My parents and friends stood by with committed support as I went through all the wide range of emotions, from anger to hurt to forgiveness, to understanding and compassion.

Talking to others about the journey can be hard, but asking for the support you need can help keep you level headed and combat the loneliness that lingers for many adoptees. It also helps others get a window into some of the unique challenges of our lives.

Each story is unique. Not every reconnection has a happy ending. But each life is valuable. No man is an island – and that couldn’t be truer than when we’re going through milestone journeys in our lives.

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